January 2012
9 posts
I find it absolutely hilarious you sit and live your life in a web of lies and act proud about it. It’s obvious to any person with brain that who you are, isn’t you, and what you want to be, will never happen. I mean, c’mon, if you’re going to lie, at least make it believable. Saying someone famous is your family member, when they’re clearly not, is stupid. Saying...
Love;
That word, that thing, that feeling; it’s an ambiguous word with many definitions and meanings that are clear as dishwater. It’s a challenge to try to explain the meaning of it, it’s not easy like 1, 2, 3, nor is it manageable like the definitions of the word “love” in the dictionary. That big book of words might contain over 5 definitions, but I am sure that none of...
Just when you thought everything’s peachy fine, you feel the world forgetting about you, so you dwell with that fact, and down, you go.
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People hear little of the stories of my life and experiences, they tell me, “I don’t think I’d be able to handle it like you can. You’re a strong person.” Heh, you can only go through so much that you start building up multiples of walls to protect yourself from anything like that to reoccur.
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December 2011
25 posts
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I don’t announce about my parents disabilities for you to throw me a pity party, I announce it to show you I can survive in this world. You may think you have it all hard, with whatever “shit” that’s bogging you down, but really, have you seen other people’s problems? You go “emo” for no damn reason. You complain about shit that’s not even a big of...
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Vulnerable, was I. Blinded by something to the point where I couldn’t be knocked into common sense, was I. I went by days, weeks, and months of thinking we would last, thinking maybe, just maybe, you would be different. But I was wrong. I was so wrong. You turned out to be the one who hurt me the most, the one who injured me more than what a mirror would’ve done if it was shattered...
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Trufax 001:
When you smile in for the camera, do not smile so hard that it looks fake. Smile as you would if you were talking to someone.
It’s 1:09 in the morning, and I’m slacking, I can’t get any of my homework done. All I can think about is you, and it’s sad that I do. I don’t know or understand any of my homework at the moment, but I do know one thing, I miss you with all of my heart. We have problems again, and you’re holding your pride to your heart, you have too much and won’t admit...
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Watching 50/50
Bitch, who cheats and then acts pitiful? Right, you do. Girl, dig 7 feet underground and lay in it. You’re sad and pathetic, shit, who does that? It’s been hard for you? REALLY? You have a boyfriend who has cancer, and it’s hard for you? You ain’t doing shit for him, except cheating on him. You have no rights to say shit like that. And then you cry, boohoo. Get yo crocodile...
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Only my dumb-ass would stand and wait outside in the cold for 45 minutes for someone who didn’t even show up. Just because I wanted to see that person, I stood and wait, I waited until it got dark and homeless people passed by and kept looking and tried to talk, but then went away. My dumb-ass stood, and stood, and waited, and all I received was texts from the person I wanted to see saying...
“Just because you’re hurt, doesn’t mean you’re broken.”
– Morgan Freeman; Dolphin Tale
Naw, don’t apologize for shit you did intentionally. I don’t want an apology filled with nothing but pity. If you did something that hurts me and it was on purpose, heh, don’t apologize to me. There’s no point to it, and I won’t accept your apology. Don’t waste your time trying to get me to sympathize for you hurting me.
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You wait hours for a text, just to end up reading: “I’m tired, text me tomorrow.” Mhmm, okay.
Have you ever felt this feeling in your heart, the feeling of missing someone? It aches and it sends this stinging shock throughout your whole body. You have no idea what to do, except to endure it. It comes, and then it goes, just like every other pain. But this pain is different, it’s a pain enraged with feelings and emotions that you have towards someone else.
I don’t like that I...
Trying to type out what I feel, yet I can’t. Words can’t explain anything right now, and sometimes, it never does. I feel..I feel not good. Yeah, not good. The audacity that some people have to even say things like that, contradicting and stupid.
“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.”
– Josephine Hart (via mols, mols)
You don’t have to do anything for me, you don’t have to give me all of you, or half of you, or even love me at all, but as an exception, do this for me. Be happy, stay happy, and don’t let anything bring you down.
I am always saying that it is okay for you to forget about me, for you to take awhile to text me back, for you to miss our plans, for you to do whatever you want and forget that I exist. But really, my heart’s not okay with it. I don’t want you feeling sorry, so I say “It’s okay” but it’s not, it’s really not. I just want some time with you, but it’s...
November 2011
22 posts
You’re beautiful, for being you.
I’m not allowed to talk to you, nor am I allowed to text you, or like any of your status on facebook, but I really want to…do all of that. When I read one of your statuses, and you’re hurt, or you’re in pain, it is like it’s in my instincts to feel the need to talk to you in some way to make sure that you’re okay. Heh, I don’t wanna text you, ‘cause...
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It’s 4 minutes til 11 in the PM, and I, I am trying to do my homework, but I can’t. I can’t ‘cause you’re in my head. Why are you in my head? Why can’t you just disappear? Why is my mind clouded with thoughts of you? Why does your name pop up outta nowhere? Why do everything I do, brings me back to you? What power do you hold in your possession have me like...
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I wish I found a way to not care about you. A way to stop myself from wondering how you are doing. A way to stop myself from being emotional when you pop up in my mind, or in front of me 100 feet across the other side of the street. A way to smile without stopping when I see something that reminds me of you. I wish there was some kind of aid to help me stop hurting.
This is probably asking for too much, but in my lifetime, I hope I find that someone who will love me through my good days, through my bad days, through those days where I just feel like crap, through my days of not wearing any eye-liner, through my days of undergoing that menstrual crap, you know, through everything. Love me for me, for exactly who I am. Not who they thought I was, or their idea...
The night’s quiet, everyone’s away in slumber, and I, I am awake and wondering.
Why do I think too much? Why do I hope for and expect so much? I know that I shouldn’t expect so much from someone, ‘cause all it does is lead to disappointment, but all I do is expect. Why? Why is it that I must over analyze? Why do I have to ask so many questions? Why do I begin assuming?...
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I don’t understand, how men can become so unfaithful, even after they’ve found a person whom they gave their all to. How can men eye someone so brand new and forget someone who has always been there? How are they able to live through life knowing they cheated and committed adultery? How is it, that they can have kids with one woman, and then jump onto another and do the same? How do...
Things change, and well, there’s really nothing you can do if when you tried, you did your best. Now it’s all up to time. Up to time for everything to fall back into place.
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When it comes to you, I become gullible; totally believing every piece and bit of what you have to say. Whether or not I know it’s genuine, of what you’re saying, I let my mind submerge into your play or words. I know I said I’d be strong and not let you back in, but I don’t know why I did. Maybe it’s because what I feel for you is strong, and what we had, I...
When your digits touch me, and the palms of your hands reaches my face, please believe that our bond will never stay the same. Bruised and scarred, you’ve already caused me and my heart. Don’t do the same to my body. As an a veteran, have a heart.